..:: Rachna Vohra ::..

Loving Imperfection

2011-12-01T10:09:00.000-08:00

After an extremely long hiatus in which I (am still) redefining what it is to be Rachna,

I am focusing my energy on blogging here,

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Upcoming Shows

2009-06-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

On top of making it on the Montreal Slam Team (woohoo), which will take us to the nationals in Victoria, BC in November (!), I've been accepted to a whole bunch of shows and festivals in the next couple of months! Yay!

July 25, 2009, 3:30PM

Masala! Mehndi! Masti!, The Exhibition Place, 200 Princes Blvd, Toronto, ON

August 29, 2009, TBD

Beckoning for Change, TBD, New York City, NY

November 4, 2009, TBD

Visual Arts Centre Poetry and Prose Reading, McClure Gallery, 350 Victoria, Montreal, QC

November 10-14, 2009

Canadian Festival of Spoken Word, Victoria Event Centre, 1415 Broad St, Victoria, BC

December 26, 2009, TBD

Hamara Mushaira, Holiday Inn, 400 Arch St, Philadelphia, PA

DesiLit Magazine

2009-06-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

A new poem of mine, a different shade of brown, was recently published in DesiLit Magazine! Read it here!

Upcoming Shows

2009-05-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

June 10, 2009, 6PM

Noches de Poesia Mega Pow Wow, Le Dépanneur Café, 206 Bernard Ouest, Montreal, QC

June 11-14, 2009

Kriti Festival, The Loop (430 S. Michigan Ave.) and West Loop (750 S. Morgan Street), Chicago, IL

June 14, 2009, 9PM

Uptown Poetry Slam, Green Mill, 4802 N. Broadway Ave, Chicago, IL

June 19, 2009, 7PM

Throw Collective's Slam Finals, Le Parc des Princes, 5293 Av du Parc, Montreal, QC

August 29, 2009, TBD

Beckoning for Change, TBD, New York City, NY

Panoramic Poetry and Jammin' Asian

2009-04-10T07:13:00.001-07:00

If you're in Philadelphia tonight, come out to Panoramic Poetry at October Gallery (710 Market St. 3rd floor). A whole slew of spoken word poets (including me!) will be performing at what promises to be an awesome show (as always)!!!

Also, if you're in NYC on Tuesday, April 14th, come out to the Laugh Lounge NYC (151 Essex St.) to see a bunch of Asians (including me) take to the stage with some spoken word, comedy and other great performances!

Voices for Indigenous Women

2009-02-23T07:50:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to be performing in this show in Montreal on March 6th! It's for a great cause, and includes some amazing artists! Come out if you're around!

**************************************************************

"Justice for missing and murdered Indigenous Women" in collaboration with CKUT 90.3 FM present:

VOICES FOR INDIGENOUS WOMEN, Friday March 6th 2009!
at the Eastern Bloc,
located at 7240 Clark, corner Jean-Talon (métro de Castelnau)
10$ at the door

Come to a fundraising concert and silent auction featuring local woman artists.
This event is taking place in support of the "Justice for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women" campaign.
All proceeds from the show at Eastern Bloc on March 6th will go towards funding a lecture (March 16) by Beverley Jacobs, president of the Native Women's Association of Canada, as well as a panel presentation featuring Jacobs, Ellen Gabriel of Quebec Native Women, and 3 women from the Kitigan Zibi reserve who have lost mothers and daughters (March 17). These events will explore the root causes of violence towards indigenous women in Canada and pressure our government to investigate the disappearance of at least 510 native women since 1980.

"Voices for Indigenous Women"
will feature a wonderful array of performances by:

Auresia (reggae) www.auresia.com
Banana & the Flying Colors (jazz) www.myspace.com/bananaandtheflyingcolors
Annabelle Chvostek (folk) www.annabelle.org
Teen Sleuth & the Freed Cyborg Choir (an operaw!)
Molly Sweeney (folk) www.myspace.com/mollysweeney
Odaya (aboriginal women's drum group)
Melissa Mollen Dupuis (storyteller from the Mingan community)
Rachna Vohra (spoken word) www.rachnavohra.com/
Chandra Melting Tallow (performance art) www.chandrameltingtallow.blogspot.com/

The silent auction will feature visual artworks by great local artists:
Emily Rose Michaud
Caili Woodyard
Naledi Jackson
Ipapurw
Francis McKenzie
Chandra Melting Tallow
Bronwen Moen
Monique Mathieu

Doors open at 8pm for the silent auction, and music starts at 9pm.

A love poem for Vivienne Tam

2009-02-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

For a poet and spoken word artist on tour
A Vivienne Tam would give my outfits allure
Whether performing at a bar, club, or cafe
This little Tam would be perfect on stage
I'd stop wasting paper, I'd stop wasting ink
I'd save the environment without having to think
Without a paper and pen, I wouldn't feel distraught
I'd read off the screen and type out my thoughts
I wouldn't be endlessly searching for notepads
In my hands, this Tam wouldn't just be the next fad
A spoken word artist with a digital clutch?
A poet and writer with a fashionable touch?
An IT maven with a tinge of class?
You must be kidding! Or kissing my...
Oh HP! Oh Vivienne Tam!
Come on! Put some glam in this poor poet's hand!
No more paper! No more pens! Hear this poet's call
HP, help this spoken word artist enthrall!
For the masses and audiences across the world
Would see poetry and HP, together, unfurled

3, 2, 1, Throw!

2009-01-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

The new year is upon us, and so begins a new season of poetry and spoken word! To start off this blank slate, the Throw Collective is launching our live-recorded CD and starting off the spoken word SLAM season at Casa del Popolo (4873 boul. St-Laurent, Montreal, QC) this Sunday, January 18th at 7:30PM! Come on out for a great show and maybe pick up an awesome CD!

Pushcart Prize

2008-12-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

I am SO excited to have been nominated for a Pushcart Prize for my poem, Mumma, published in The Pedestal Magazine! Thank you for the honour, Susan! I'm still speechless!

carte blanche magazine, AIDS, and the Yellow Door

2008-11-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

How exciting! carte blanche magazine has published my poem, Nomad, in their fall '08 issue!

Also, if you're free this Thursday, try to come out to McGill's AIDS fundraiser at Gert's Bar, where I'll be performing a few spoken word pieces! Find out the details here!

And don't forget my reading at the Yellow Door on December 11th! Find out the details here!

Find out the details about all of my upcoming shows here!

Vallum Magazine's Cafe/Culture Reading Series

2008-10-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I can't find the post where I talk about my performance at Vallum Magazine's Cafe/Culture Reading Series on Saturday, October 24th at 7PM. Well then, here it is! I hope all you Montrealers get a chance to come out and enjoy a nice evening of poetry! See you there!

it was Throw-mania!

2008-10-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sunday night's show exceeded all hopes and dreams! Not only did I get to record an awesome CD with the Throw Collective, I got to share a stage with more than 15 unbelievable poets! A huge thank you to Chris Masson who invited me to be on the CD, and to the other poets for pouring their heart out to inspire the masses, including me! Can't wait for the next show!!!

another beautiful lawn chair soirée (without the lawn chairs)

2008-10-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I didn't give in to my exhaustion and instead joined Jan at the lawn chair soirée yesterday! It was a great night of poetry (as usual) and the wonderful feedback I got from the poets and the audience was so encouraging...

Thank you again, Jan, for hosting such a pleasant monthly event!

3, 2, 1, Throw!

2008-09-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

Come out on October 19th to Casa Del Popolo at 7PM to see me perform with the Throw Poetry Collective of Montreal! This is one show you definitely don't want to miss - it is going to be unbelievable!

Great Poetry Festival

2008-09-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

The Montreal Public Poetry Festival was fantastic!!!

That Brown @$!@%&! and I rocked the stage together in what felt like such short sets! The other poets were amazing, and so warm and encouraging!

A huge thank you must go out to Jack Locke, who put his heart and soul into making this event the success it was!

I can't wait for the 2009 festival!

the lawn chair soirée

2008-09-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

yesterday was spectacular. i had the opportunity to "headline" at the lawn chair soirée poetry evening at arts café and was touched and inspired by all of the beautiful poets who performed. when i got up to say my piece (well... pieceS), a sea of open hearts looked back at me from the audience. the poets and audience members were so welcoming and encouraging, i just wanted to hug each and every one of them! i was even asked to do a reprise and go up after the headliners and open mic-ers had had the chance to read - and i did!

we often don't realize how important it is to spend time amongst like-minded people. i consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to read alongside jan, vincenzo, collette, ellie, and to have met so many of the other poets who made up this beautiful evening, including jack and elise. many of the poets will be performing in the montreal public poetry festival sep 26-28, and it will be well worth the time to go see them...

thank you so much, jan, for putting together this monthly evening of words, and i look forward to the next soirée on october 15th!

Yellow Door Poetry and Prose

2008-09-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

Woohoo, I have another performance!

On December 11, 2008 at 7:00 PM, I'll be reading at the Yellow Door Poetry and Prose evening!

Thank you, Ilona!

Upcoming Performances

2008-09-07T17:38:00.001-07:00

I'm excited to be signing up for a lot of performances in the coming months! Here is the schedule so far, if anyone is in town and can make it - would love to see you there!

September 17, 2008, 7:30 PM

the lawn chair soirée at Arts Café, 201 Fairmount West, Montreal, QC

September 26, 2008, 7:20 PM

Montreal Public Poetry Festival at Cafe Culturel SABA, 5124-A Sherbrooke St. West, Montreal, QC

September 27, 2008, 9:00 PM

Montreal Public Poetry Festival at Cafe Culturel SABA, 5124-A Sherbrooke St. West, Montreal, QC

September 28, 2008, 12:00 PM

Montreal Public Poetry Festival at Cafe Culturel SABA, 5124-A Sherbrooke St. West, Montreal, QC

October 3, 2008, 9:00 PM

Indyish / POP Montreal at Les Saints, 30 St. Catherine, corner St. Laurent, Montreal, QC

Montreal Public Poetry Festival

2008-08-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to be performing at the Montreal Public Poetry Festival from September 26th - 28th in Montreal. That Brown @$!@%&! and I will be enticing the audiences with three spoken word shows. Details to come!

Check it out!

Call for a Montreal musician and a dancer (two people)

2008-08-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

Hello readers! I'm putting a call out to musicians and dancers:

I am looking for some world music and dance to accompany me in a show in Montreal where I will be performing spoken word... I would like to collaborate on a piece (as in build it together). I am looking to create something unique - bharat natyam or flamenco are just some ideas that come to mind - so if you're interested - contact me at nachna {at} gmail {dot} com soon! The show is October 3rd!

Cahoots Magazine

2008-08-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

Cahoots Magazine has published my poem, security blanket , in their August issue! Thank you, Carla!

August 17th at Jello Bar!

2008-08-06T17:52:00.001-07:00

I'm excited to be performing at Rhythm and Rhymes at Jello Bar in Montreal on August 17th! The event starts at 7PM, and runs until around 10PM... so if you're in the area, please come by and support all the great performers!

Randy Pausch and Mattie Stepanek

2008-07-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

You may not have heard about Mattie Stepanek if you didn't watch Oprah at some point in 2003-2004, and you may not have heard about Randy Pausch, either. But having heard of both of them and remembering their stories always brings me back to reality - a life goal I often forget, sometimes ignore, and the rest of the time, try to live: To Have My Life Be An Inspiration To Others. Both of them passed on: Mattie in 2004, just shy of 14, from a rare form of muscular dystrophy; Randy today, at 47, from an incurable form of pancreatic cancer.

I'm writing about these two inspirations because we often forget that we are all here on the verge of death, and yet it seems we never actually choose life. "When I get some time" just keeps getting pushed away until time just decides to strike back. And then we're gone.

If nothing else can be learned from these two souls, just remember this: Right now is the only time you know you definitely have - everything else is an uncertainty.

So excuse me while I get back to it.

Call for Montreal Spoken Word Poets

2008-07-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for a couple of spoken word poets to join me in a show in Montreal September 26-28, 2008. If you're interested, contact me at nachna {at} gmail {dot} com.

Selma...

2008-07-05T00:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, I rarely talk about favourite things because I have no favourites, but I came across a book that might just be one of the best little books I have ever read! The book is called Selma and was written by Jutta Bauer. Pick it up - please! It will just warm your heart :)

Some San Fran words... and a little delayed news!

2008-06-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

While in San Fran, I figured I'd try my word at an event in Oakland. The EastSide Arts Alliance put on a nice little show - good to see the young crowd exploring the arts! It was a good opportunity to hear another city's words!

I also realized I forgot to thank Robin at The Pound in Montreal for hosting a great show and allowing some of us spoken word artists to perform a couple of months ago! Better late than never!

The Pedestal Magazine

2008-06-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

The Pedestal Magazine published my poem, Mumma, in their summer issue!!!

Thank you, Susan!

Panoramic... again!

2008-06-25T13:30:00.001-07:00

I am so happy (and lucky) I was able to squeeze in another little Panoramic Poetry last Friday! Each time I go to a spoken word event, I am re-floored! The poets are just unbelievable! This time, there were two 17-year-olds (who were at a poetry event on a Friday night instead of out with friends as others their age would be!) and they just blew me away! And let's not leave out the other poets, who inspired us beyond belief. They say poets are the new prophets and they are so right!

I feel so privileged to have performed amongst such talented artists. And to boot, our host, Crucial, even made a special request for one of my poems (and a member of the audience told me they had been talking about me all week!)! Wow! If I ever need a confidence boost, I know exactly where to go!

Thanks again, Lamar and Crucial, for allowing me to be a part of the beautiful future you are building!

Panoramic Poetry and Poetic Minds Plus

2008-06-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a double-whammy! On Friday night, I had the pleasure (and honour) of performing at Panoramic Poetry, hosted by October Gallery in Philadelphia. Our host, Crucial Poet, and the unbelievably talented poets who performed, were so encouraging! Everyone was a feature poet (including me!) and one of the traditions is to throw your pen at the stage if you like the poet's work. For a writer, this is a true honour because the poet in the audience is giving you their pen, signifying they would rather you write with it than them; and the poet on stage gets to keep the pens thrown at them. Did I get any, you ask? Yes - 6!!! I am still feeling humbled by this and will keep the pens as a reminder of why I continue to write.

On Saturday afternoon, I called in to Lady Blue's radio show, Poetic Minds Plus. A soft-spoken woman, Lynn Blue welcomed me with open arms and I was so happy she remembered meeting me a week prior at Aziza's! I performed one of my signature pieces, at her request, and felt great when she read back the feedback she was receiving on it.

Thank you, Lamar, Crucial, and Lady Blue, for giving me the opportunity to express myself and perform my work! I look forward to meeting you all again at shows in the future!

Aziza's... again!

2008-06-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, silence is the only language that can do justice to a moment. I felt that moment at Aziza's on Friday, where I was welcomed so warmly by Aziza, herself. I brought two pieces to perform, which I did, and then, to my humble surprise, was requested to perform a piece I had performed at my previous visit. A request by Aziza? I bent over backwards to perform it!

With a huge, warm hug, Aziza told me how she was so pleased I had returned, and that she had been raving about my work since she met me two months ago. Who wouldn't be humbled and honoured?

I met poets and artists the likes of Lady Dove, Lady Blue, Lamont Steptoe, and so many others that inspired and elated...

I am so thankful to have made it out on Friday night - it was a night to remember. Aziza, thank you for hosting such an inspiring and uplifting event. I look forward to many more...

Website Revamp!

2008-06-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's time for spring cleaning and I decided "out with the old, and in with the new". So I've revamped my entire website! Take a look!

Inscribed Magazine

2008-06-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Inscribed Magazine has published my poem, How To Set the Price Of Leaves, in June's issue and it was voted favourite poem of the issue so I am their spotlight author of the month!

Thank you kindly, Kyle and Randy!

Aziza's

2008-04-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

First Fridays seems to be the place to be in Philly if you're an artist, and I got my first taste of it last weekend when I went to Aziza's First Fridays at the Jose Seabourne Art Gallery.

I have been so lucky to have been a part of so many different spoken word events in the past few months, each drastically different from the last, but Aziza's did something to the soul... (not to say the others didn't!)

She came in with her musical instruments and we started off with a jam session like no other. Her poetry, together with the poetry of the other artists, resonated to a place deep within. But the highlight of the night was the couple who got up and performed impromptu, and to whom I bow down and tip my hat all at the same time. Wow! I wish I knew their names, but to hear their words was treat enough. When I meet people who can stand up and bleed the arts without shedding a drop, I know I am in the presence of greatness. I can't say enough about all of the poets who stood up and said their piece, but I am still wishing I could replay that night every night.

Yes, I did stand up and do my thing, and thank goodness for the great feedback, but the poets with whom I shared the stage all showed me what true literary greatness and deep passion meant. Thank you, Aziza, for a most memorable night. And I will definitely be there next month!

Poetry Ink at Robin's Bookstore

2008-03-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

It felt like I participated in a little part of history at the Poetry Ink event at Robin's Bookstore in Philadelphia on Sunday. This annual gathering of over 100 poets for a day of reading has been happening for 12 years now, and this year, my name was on the list too!

Thank you, Larry Robin, for the great opportunity to make a little history!

Art really does Matter

2008-03-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

A Friday night I won't soon forget...

I happened to be in town to catch a Spoken Word event held through Concordia's Art Matters festival at the Hive on the Loyola Campus. And umm... thank God!

Michelle (I can still hear her saying it: Meeeeeeeeshelllll) was so warm and inviting and the Throw Collective and Capital Poetry Collective made me feel like I found home in the middle of a crazy winter storm, and when I walked in, mom was warming me up a cup of hot chocolate and dad was roasting marshmallows by the fireplace, as if they knew I was going to show up at any moment.

The event blew my words right out of my mouth (and those who know me know how hard that is to do) and inspired me beyond the realm of inspiration into pure spirituality.

Yes, I did get up and speak my own word. The energy, the encouragement, the laughter, the finger-snapping, the music, the letters put together to form words with the hope and the inspiration and the peace and the heightened sense of just being... wow. I stumbled upon a little piece of paradise and got a new sense of resolve that *this* is where I was meant to be.

I bow down in grace and appreciation. Thank you, Michelle, for a Friday night to remember. Thank you, Concordia, for succeeding in proving that Art really does Matter.

Speaking the Word

2008-02-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have recently become more interested in the Spoken Word scene and tried my hand at an open mic at the Nuyorican in NYC. It was amazing!

Soooo I attended a poetry slam at Infusion Coffee and Tea Gallery in Philly, where I participated in my first slam! It was exhilirating making it to the second round among poets I could never imagine rubbing shoulders with! The girls were unbelievable - leaving us speechless until we roared into an applause after every performance.

I also read at the Cornelia Street Cafe, in the presence of some wonderful poets!

I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to participate and a huge thanks goes out to the Nish Pugh and Sherod Smallman, who welcomed a nervous me with open arms and a huge dose of support!

Can't wait for the next one!

Happy New Year

2008-01-16T18:55:00.000-08:00

i thought to wish you wealth this new year
but we are all richer than we choose to see
i thought to wish you prosperity
but success is measured differently between you and me

i thought to wish you sustained health
but there are others who need my prayers more
i thought to wish you true happiness
but only you control the happiness you have in store

i thought to wish you peace this new year
but there are children in this world who know only unrest
i thought to wish you lessons to learn
but there are families whose every moment of life is a test

i thought to wish you endless love
but there are those who have lost their everyone
i thought to wish you continued growth
but your growth and mine follow different suns

i thought to wish you timeless strength
but there are some who will need more than their share
i thought to wish you all these things
but i thought again, for it would be unfair

there are riches and beauty and success in your life
you are free from violence, free from strife

you have love, you have joy, you have strength, you have health
you have family and friends, you have untapped wealth

and all of those things you wish you could own
are illusions of a better life unknown

instead i'll wish that you could unfold
the glory your life already holds

so although i thought to wish you all things great
i wish you awareness in 2008

love rachna

Sapna Magazine!

2007-09-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

Check out Sapna Magazine's first print issue to read my article about Changing the World!

Gandhi, My Father

2007-09-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

I was very excited the other day to find out that the newly released movie, Gandhi, My Father, is based on a book I edited entitled Mahatma vs. Gandhi, forthcoming from Jaico Publishing House!

Yay!

A chat with Dr. Vidushi Babber

2007-08-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Dr. Vidushi Babber, a Medical Director with a private practice at The Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Louisiana and whose expertise is in women's mental health issues, invited me as a guest on her internet radio talkshow "Winning With Wellness"! Listen to my interview here! Thank you, Vidushi, for the wonderful chat - I hope we were able to help women find their creative spirit!

A Distinguished Invincibelle!

2007-08-29T15:09:00.000-07:00

Invincibelle, a website totally focused on helping multicultural women, has honoured me as a Distinguished Invincibelle! Read my interview here! Thank you, Deepika!

Volunteering Abroad... anyone?

2007-08-29T15:08:00.001-07:00

ABCDlady Magazine recently published an article I wrote explaining the ins and outs of volunteering abroad for anyone interested in taking on such a life-changing experience! Read it here!

Are you ready to get married?

2007-07-19T17:35:00.001-07:00

Bibi Magazine has featured my latest article in their online mag! Read it here: Are You Ready For Marriage?

Interview with Phil Harris

2007-07-16T18:27:00.001-07:00

Phil Harris, renowned writer and expert author, invited me as a guest to his internet radio talkshow "All Things That Matter"! You can listen to my interview here! Thanks for the wonderful opportunity, Phil!

sifting and changing

2007-07-07T12:15:00.001-07:00

I was just sifting through some old emails I keep in a folder called "sweet" when I found this little bit I wrote to someone a very long time ago... I vaguely remember writing it, but I love that I did and thought I would share it... I hope it begets inspiration

so what are my dreams? what do i long for?

these two questions remain intertwined in my head as two sides of the same coin... i long to effect a positive change on people's lives... i dream of changing the world... i long to help those who don't have the capacity to help themselves to the level of their desires... i long to share my words with the world... i want to see people happy and i want to be one of the people to help them feel that happiness, that calm, that serenity... i want to be peaceful myself... i dream of publishing and selling my books, and i long to make a difference... though i get discouraged about the effect that one person can have on the world, it is shortlived, because when i do something special for someone special and i see that glimmer in their eyes for that brief moment, i know i can change the world, because i can change one person's world, and thats the world to me... i want people to know how important they are, and i want people to discard any negativity and complexity that surrounds them... a lot of my dreams and longings are perhaps wrongly rooted in other people's happiness, but they are also rooted in mine... publishing my words and changing the world will make me happy... the effects of those will make others happy... hence the happiness of my world and the happiness of the world are entwined in a sort of codependent and loving way... i dream of learning, and by learning, changing... both my life and the life of those around me... i love peeling away the layers of complexity and simplifying life to this: just be happy... your questions are hard to answer, the answers finding roots in other questions... but i dream of joy and i dream of serenity... and i long for these words to inspire dreams of their own...

thats not all, but its certainly the beginning...

retired at 21

2007-07-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

Dean Hunt of retiredat21 was kind enough to interview me recently! Read the interview here and browse his very interesting blog!

Thanks Dean!

a couple of articles...

2007-06-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

To read more about my experience at an NGO in Bangalore, India, read my article in ABCDlady magazine, an online mag that focuses on topics related to the South Asian community who grew up in America.

A little older news... For mother's day, Bibi Magazine online asked me to write an article for their readers. Check it out here! Bibi is one of the longest-running, largest-circulated South Asian fashion magazines in the USA!

The Desi Connect!

2007-05-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm honored that The Desi Connect's Sheena Singh and Sumaya Kazi took the time to interview me for their online mag! Running under the umbrella of The Cultural Connect, these mags feature young, driven, and forward-thinking individuals, and they've chosen me as their Young Professional of the week! Read the interview here and support their wonderful endeavours!

Biji - My Shakuntla Devi

2007-05-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

On April 19th, at 8:55 AM, my grandmother took her last breath. There's a certain emptiness that surrounds death... a sort of spatial void full of silences and shadows. I left the hospital with a grandmother, and came back to find I no longer had one. Her last hours were spent with a dead body but a beating heart. Her last message to me was this: breathe. Breathe all the breaths you can, child, because that is the only thing you have, and the last thing you will ever need.

The house, her room, her spot on the couch, her paths - all carry a space around it where she used to be. Everything in our lives revolved around her, and now we have nothing left to revolve around. The first day in the house with just us three, where we used to be four, was the most difficult. When I leave the house, I imagine saying bye to her, and her saying bye back. When I come home, I imagine saying hi to her on my way to my bedroom, and her saying "You've come, Child?" (in Punjabi, of course - Aa gaya, Puttar), and me saying "Hanji" (yes). But there is only silence.

It will take a long time to get used to not coming home for 4 o clock tea time, and not having her box of teeth next to the sink in the bathroom. It will take some time to get used to walking past her room and not seeing her in the bed, or leaving home and not hearing the too-loud tv playing the same Indian channel every day. It will take quite a while to get used to shutting the light in the hallway because she no longer needs to see the way to the bathroom. Or filling her glass of water at 6 PM every day. I will never get used to not having to move from her spot on the couch when she was coming down the stairs, or arranging it so that someone would be home at 1 PM to make her lunch. I will never forget the laughs she laughed when I squeezed my mother, or rubbed my father's head. It will take a while to get used to not closing the closet door just such, leaving only a few inches open, or taking her teacup down when she was finished drinking. I will have to adjust to not moving my things from the path she took every day with her walker to the couch, or the way she would pull the kitchen table to her, instead of moving her chair closer to the kitchen table. Refilling her bottle of oil, fixing her audio tapes when they got pulled, or figuring out the mysteries of the stereo gone awry. I will still jump at every sound, worrying that she may have fallen, or may have dropped something. I will not forget the exactness of each sound and how I knew exactly what they meant. What she was doing when each sound was made, where she was going at each timing on the schedule. Like clockwork I knew this woman. Like a melody, I knew her.

Did I tell her I loved her enough? Did I ever hug her? Did I ever sit at her feet and listen to her stories of pre-partition India and the love that permeated her life? Did I grumble too loud, or get upset at her once too many? Did she know she mattered? Did she forgive my youth? Did she remember the days when I used to make banners and strew them across the entrance when she visited? Did she remember when I would teach her the alphabet, and give her a passing grade to join the next class? Did she know I loved her laugh? Did she know I held her hand more in her last days than I did in her whole life, but that those last days meant more to me than all the days we spent together? Did she hear me whispering to her in the coma before her death? Did she feel my hand on hers after she left our world? Did she remember I told her I loved her so much? Did she realize she would take a piece of me with her when she left?

Will she remember me?

On April 19th, 2007, at 8:55 AM, my Biji took her last breath.

a month - my grandmother

2007-04-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

so i know i've been missing for over a month, but i have good reason... my grandmother has been in the hospital... my month has been full of emotional ups and downs, wishes and prayers, family visits and friends... all culminating to one question: what will happen?

yesterday they gave us a private room... we know it's because it's her last days, they know too... but they don't want to say it... it's really hard to watch someone dying, and know that any moment they will take their last breath...

i've written more in the past month than i have in a very long time... it's amazing how life and death can bring out so many shades of a person... though i can't say what will happen (or when will be the next time i post something), i will be back after this hiatus - likely with a new sense of appreciation...

have a wonderful day, because today is your life...

rachna

... and if you feel like reading something delightful and touching that a wonderful designer friend of mine, oorbee roy, wrote about me in her ever-popular blog, check out OmHome. And be sure to take a look at her incredibly beautiful line of pillows, linens, and other gorgeous creations... watch out for her because she'll be on oprah's favourite things one day - i guarantee it!

failure: my four-letter word

2007-03-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

over the last few months, i have watched someone succeed so unbelievably where i (in my opinion) had failed so miserably... i see that person doing the things i wish i had done, and being the person i wish i had been in the same circumstances... it's very easy, now, to look back and see how i could have changed my experience, but in the moment, i was weary and overwhelmed, unprepared and uncertain... all excuses, i tell myself, for this person must have felt the same as i did, but just acted differently towards their experience...

failure is just another lesson learned... a mistake made that we will hopefully not repeat... the only problem with failure is that we, ourselves, thrust the knife so deep into our heart that we open a wound big enough for us to pour salt in freely, every day of our life... and the skin becomes sensitive around that wound, so that when someone else comes too close to us, we yell and scream at them for hurting us... only because we need a break from the self-blame for a moment... and sometimes, seeing someone thrive where we failed smarts that old wound... for though the blood may be dry and the wound may have healed, the scar has not let us forget about the pain of failure...

forgiveness has been said to be divine, and it is... but forgiveness towards whom? for if we do not forgive ourselves first, who else, then, will we truly be able to forgive? we must first forgive ourselves for thrusting the knife in so deep - only then will we be able to see the truth... that mistakes were meant to be made, failures were meant to help us grow, wounds were meant to heal, and we were meant to move on, move forward... and the core of that truth is - there are no failures, just experiences...

so, for all the things i wanted to do but didn't, all the expectations i wanted to meet but couldn't, and all the experiences i wish i had created but hadn't... here is what i have learned:

I Forgive Myself.

United Divas Diva of the Month!

2007-03-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

United Divas, a website dedicated to empowering women to be artistic leaders, professionals, innovators, and role models, has honoured me as March/April's Diva of the Month!!!

I am so excited about it - thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity, Jan and the team at United Divas! You all made my month - well, two months (March and April)!

Be sure to check me out and support their wonderful endeavours!

a smile found

2007-03-07T13:33:00.000-08:00

It isn't every day that someone tells you that you were brought into their life by the grace of God. It isn't every day that someone says your presence made an indescribable impact on their life. No, it isn't every day that someone finds their smile, their hope, and a desire to pay it forward because of you.

It isn't every day that you can take a person's life and sprinkle magic into it just by granting their wish. And what is a wish, anyway? Winnie the Pooh said 'A wish is a dream your heart makes'. So can we make a heart's dream come true? And if we can, will we? And if we will, when? And why not now?

I don't remember why I joined the Make a Wish Foundation, but one day I decided to stop talking and just do it. I was assigned a family where the parents only spoke Hindi. Woohoo, I speak Hindi - let's go! I met our wish child and told her she could have any wish in the whole world - anything!

Her wish? To decorate her parents' room because they had no furniture so they slept on the floor. Wow... There are not many people who are selfless, and even fewer who would give up the pyramids in Egypt for their parents' comfort. But that was her wish. We pushed and convinced her to switch rooms with her parents and have her own new room decorated instead, and she finally agreed - though reluctantly. This was the kickoff to my first wish, and I already had tears in my eyes!

I won't go through the endless months of details, but in the end, we granted her wish, and so much more. More importantly, though, she gave me the best gift of all in return for ours - her smile... her laugh. I could see her road ahead, and it was recovery... it was life.

Today, her mother thanked me. It isn't every day that someone tells you that you brought something into their life that they wouldn't have been able to bring into their own. No, it isn't every day that someone looks into your eyes with newfound hope, and tells you that you are a gift from God.

No, it isn't every day. But it was today.

someone wrote it best

2007-02-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

i came across this passage by eugene o'neill and it captured everything so well... so instead of writing my own entry that would probably be unmatchable, i'll just write his up instead... after all, why try to rewrite that which has been written so well?

Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who love love? Why am I afraid, I who am not afraid? Why must I pretend to scorn in order to pity? Why must I hide myself in self-contempt in order to understand? Why must I be so ashamed of my strength, so proud of my weakness? Why must I live in a cage like a criminal, defying and hating, I who love peace and friendship? Why was I born without a skin? O God, that I must wear armor in order to touch or be touched.

Eugene O'Neill - (from The Great God Brown)

the beauty of india

2007-02-15T18:06:00.001-08:00

i spent almost a year in india recently, volunteering for an ngo in bangalore... while i was there, i was asked by a friend to describe the beauty of india, and i thought everyone might enjoy hearing about it... words cannot possibly do justice to the myriad of sensations that pass through you every moment of every day, but this was my feeble attempt to provide an inkling of how i felt while i was there...

the beauty of india... the beauty of india is in the smiles of the street and slum children who excitedly and incessantly wave hi and bye to me everytime i pass by them... its in the bare feet of the mothers who walk in the dirt rock road with their pantless children on their hips... its in the tough soles of the children who happily play barefoot in the rocks and weeds that make up their home, and in the tougher souls of the mothers who raise these children with love and give them the smiles on their faces... its in the tiny outstretched hands of the children beggars who should be in school, but who instead lay their souls in the palm of their hand for a rupee... its in the glimmer of the ring that adorns each woman's nose... its in the sweet tinkle of the anklets that sing on women's feet as they walk by... its in the dirty silk or cotton or chiffon that still manages to drape elegantly over their shoulders... its in the scented jasmine flowers that are strewn through their hair... next to a fully lit, extravagant house, its in the woman squatting in the weeds and rocks in front of a fire in the night to cook dinner for her children... its in the beautiful chalk designs that are drawn anew every morning, adorning the ground in front of the doorways of each house... its in the religious fervor and the love for God engrained in every single person who lives here... its in the harmony in the air while diwali, a hindu festival, and ramzan and eid, muslim festivals, are being celebrated together in the same weekend... its in the fireworks that have been gracing our skies for the past month, out of joy for the various religious celebrations that have overtaken the country... its in the elaborate carvings on temple walls and the indescribable architecture of temples and mosques that are built in any little corner and on any little street that can fit it... its in the tender flute that wakes me up some mornings from the house next door... its in the music that resonates in the streets from shops... its in the sweet voice of the lady singing in the field for all the people working in the blazing sun, encouraging them, lifting their souls, lifting my soul... its in the joyous song of the child shepherd who is herding cows down the road next to me... its in the loud cry of the vegetable seller who sings out the products he is selling as he walks down the road... its in johnson, one of the children from the lowest class in my school, who, when asked why he loves school, told me that he loved it for the food that he gets to eat... its in the appreciation that emanated from raju, one of the children from the highest class, who, at lunchtime, told me he was too full to finish his food but kept eating because "they gave us the food to eat"... its in the little girls from the lowest class, who, when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, answered with "dish washers" or "clothes cleaners", because their mothers (those who have mothers) held those positions, because they weren't yet aware of all the opportunities that awaited them in the world... its in the child whose birthday it is in school, who gets to dress out of uniform in her best clothes and walk around the school handing out sweets to everyone, even if her family does not have enough money to feed themselves some nights... its in the joy that emanates from all the slum children, because life is simple and they cannot fathom a reason for sadness... its in the disintegration of all complexities as you learn what real life is all about... its in the peace and appreciation you cannot ignore... its in the word akka that i hear everytime i walk into school... its in everything and everyone that makes up this country... its in every second that i get to experience here... the beauty of india is india itself, and the secret it holds in its soul... and no one could ever explain this to me, i had to come here to understand... these words cannot even remotely do justice to the beauty of india... that is the beauty of india...

technical writing

2007-02-12T09:08:00.000-08:00

ok, so i do have a day job - i'm a technical writer...
i kind of fell into the job, not something i studied to be, but i guess i'm good at it since i haven't been fired yet... i think maybe i fell into it as a way to keep myself writing, because i had stopped for a while...
being a technical writer is boring, yes, but sometimes it brings out some quirky sides of me... here is a poem i wrote one day, bored on the job...

an ode to a paperclip

oh paperclip paperclip
sitting on the tabletop
do you wish you were holding papers
do you wish the agony would stop?

oh paperclip paperclip
a wire deformed
would you rather be a computer cord
would you rather hold forms

oh paperclip paperclip
you uniter of paper
you joiner of lost souls
you potential finger scraper

oh paperclip paperclip
how do you live
how do you fulfill your purpose
when you have nothing left to give

oh paperclip paperclip
wire of my heart
i will not mourn your parting
but i will mourn our time apart

I Create

2007-02-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

I just learned that the word poetry comes from the ancient Greek poieo, which translates into I Create.

And since the word Rachna comes from Sanskrit (Hindi) and means Creation, I feel like somehow, writing was engrained in me.

Maybe that's why I feel I have no choice but to write, because if I don't, I'm failing all that is me and what I am made of.

Here's to creating...

Kriti Festival

2007-02-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to be a panelist at the 2007 Kriti Festival in Chicago April 26-29!!! It is an event celebrating South Asian and diaspora literature, and I will be speaking on various panels (not sure which ones yet!)! And the keynote speaker will be Anita Desai !!!

Find out more about the festival from www.desilit.org/kriti.html and be sure to buy your tickets early to come visit me and ask me some questions!!!

Thanks Desilit for the awesome opportunity!

the distance within

2007-02-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

so my first blog is named after my first book, named after the first poem

The distance within
Was the distance without
Me

The distance without
Was the distance between
Us

The distance between
Was the distance around
You

The distance around
Was the distance within
Me

in the beginning...

2007-02-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

every story begins with a word
and every word begins with a breath

and with my first breath - thank you for visiting...

ever wonder why every book begins with a dedication?
because without others, we wouldn't be half of what we are, and we wouldn't have done half of what we did...

so here is mine

to those who made me feel
those who made me think
and those who made me do

but especially
to those who made me

want to find out more about me - visit my website...

i'll be back with more soon...